Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
