Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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