You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
