Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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