The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
