ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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