But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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