that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
