I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize