told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
