this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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