So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
