Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
