my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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