This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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