I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
