Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
