it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my poor anus
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
