I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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