I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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