matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
