Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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