ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
