The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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