Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
