How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
