i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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