This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
