have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
