the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
