thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
