haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
