So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
