It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
