Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
