He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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