Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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