Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize