I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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