Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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