Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
a search helicopter?!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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