sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
