My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
