Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
