I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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