I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize