how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
