I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
