It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
