using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
