just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
