Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would fuck him just for his dog
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
