My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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