im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
