I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
