wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He better not be in your backpack
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
