we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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