You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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