just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
