Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I love having hate sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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