There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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