You're a womanizer and a bitch.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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