You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
