I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
