my phone needs a breathalizer
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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